A Balloon for Isla

Today is the funeral of little Isla Anderson. If you follow this blog, but live under a rock, please take some time to read the Andersons blog HERE

Her daddy Matt has asked followers of their blog to release a balloon in her memory. So earlier, Christine chose a silver star and I came home from work on my lunch, so we could release it together.

It’s nothing special but as you will now if you follow this blog, this little girl touched hearts and mind, so we wanted to do something.

After a family picture, dog ‘ N all, we went to into a very windy garden to release our little gift.

I also added the following note.

 Hopefully it will travel far and wide and Isla’s story will touch other people’s lives.

Isla....This one’s for you.

 

I hope Danielle at Motherhood Truth doesnt mind but I wanted to share her beautiful video:

A goodbye to Isla

If you have followed me, or if you have followed the Anderson Blog itself you know the amazing fight that baby Isla was fighting came to an end on 10^th October. This little lady has captured the hearts of people all over the world including my own and Christine.

I have always made an effort on this blog to only talk about things related to BB, Christine or myself. Many times I have been tempted to air my opinions on different matters or vent at certain situations, but I haven’t. I haven’t because I wanted to keep this blog focused on our little family.

On 29^th September, I made an exception. The same exception I am making today. On September 29^th, I posted this blog post.

Every day since discovering the blog, I have come home and checked for the latest update and when I heard the news I felt a tear in my eye. Not just for Isla, but for both Matt and Lauren, who after all the heartache they had been through, now had to deal with what every parent fears and that is saying goodbye to their little angel.

Every day Matt updated the blog and even now he is kind enough to share his feelings and thoughts, with people he has never met, but have tried to support him through this terrible time. Sitting here reading every night, I felt bad there was nothing I could do but spread the word and that’s again what I am hoping to do now.

On 21^st October Matt and Lauren say goodbye to their little angel once and for all and once again, I hope the blogging community comes together like they have before and support them on what is surely one of the hardest days anybody can go through.

They have asked that anybody who wishes to honour Isla’s memory, to release a balloon, as they will be on Friday the 21^st. We certainly plan on doing so.

If you decide to follow suite, then please promise to do 2 things.

1 – Take a picture.

2 – Send the picture to Matt and Lauren over at mattaanderson@mail.com,

3 – Please add a comment to this post to let me know you have joined in.

Once again, Thanks for reading.

I will leave you with a poem that Matt has written for his precious daughter.

She Soars
Soar past the boundaries of a world where we can’t embrace
Begin your endless journey in a better place
Soar above the clouds up high
Don’t look back, don’t begin to cry
The sands of time will continue to flow
My little angel, I want you to know
I won’t forget

Soar to where the angels play
Up to the Heavens where we’ll meet someday
Soar to where you can rest peacefully
You are so pure,
You are so free
The waves will still crash upon the shore
My little angel forever more
I won’t forget

Soar to a place full of happiness
You are to perfect for all of this
Soar up high, don’t wait for me
In my heart you’ll forever be
The sun will still shine
The sun will still set
But I promise you my little angel, I won’t forget

Becoming a dad isn't amazing.....

Let me explain.

I recently went out for what some might call “Wetting the baby’s head”, whereas I just call it a few drinks with friends.

We drank, laughed, we watched the mighty Leeds United beat local rivals Doncaster Rovers convincingly 3-0 and we drank some more.

 During one of the less random conversations that we had that night, one of my friends turned round to me and asked me “Does it feel amazing being a dad?”

BB does an impression of daddies friend after too many drinks!

My initial response to this was yes. Of course it’s amazing. My friend knew how much becoming a dad meant to me and he knew that it had taken some years to convince the Mrs so it wasn’t a strange answer, but then I changed my mind. “It’s not amazing really, it’s......” and after a few seconds he suggested “Natural?”

That was it! Becoming a dad wasn’t an amazing feeling; it wasn’t really any emotion other than it just felt right. It’s weird how you imagine something being one way and when that’s exactly the way it goes, the only feeling I have is one of content. So far being a dad has been everything I could have hoped and dreamed of. BB is healthy, Christine has been more of an amazing mummy than I could have ever have imagined and he is growing every day.

When I see the littlest changes, the different kind of smile where you know this time, he is in fact laughing at you being silly and not just suffering from trapped wind. The first time he is laid playing and he squeaks with the first murmurings of a giggle, everything just feels...right. Even when he cries because he is hungry or the bad lady at the doctors keeps sticking needles in his legs, to sit there and comfort my boy until his tears stop falling, just feels...right.

As I type this it is 20:27 on 17/10/11, I realise that BB is exactly 3 months old (to the minute) and we have already seen such big changes in him. He recently started rubbing his eyes when he is tired, he has started sleeping through the night (about 10 hours) and Christine is convinced that he is teething! (Not sure I believe that!) I look forward to see what else my little boy will learn to do in the next few months and next few years to come.

BB, happy 3 month birthday. Mummy and daddy love you very much.

Going back for seconds?....

I have spoken before about the fact, when you find the ‘one’ for you, the first question that is asked is “When are you going to get married?” Then when you finally take the plunge and get married, they start asking “When you starting a family?” and you imagine when you are lucky enough to have that family that so many of us hope for you think that’s the end of it....it’s not!

I don’t even think that BB was a week old, before we were already being asked when number 2 would be on his/her way! Now I joke to some, that it has taken me 10 years so to start thinking about Benjamin V2.0 anytime soon is definitely out of the question.

 Now, don’t get me wrong, Christine and I have had this conversation but I can’t see this happening for some time.

I know from connecting with so many people through this blog and through twitter that, as with most things with kids, everybody has an opinion and some things are perfect for some but not for others but for us, there are a number of things that would have to happen before we tried for another.

We would want BB to certainly be at nursery. I think trying to raise 2 kids while both being at home 24/7 would be ALOT of stress.

Right now, we couldn’t handle two mouths to feed financially. I’m sure it’s the same for most, but money is tight with the 4 of us (Including the dog of course!), and with any more money from work looking unlikely, we are stuck with our budget, which I don’t think will stretch to 5!

Of course if there was to be a ‘Happy Accident’ and we found out tomorrow that there was another little Ackroyd on the way, we would be over the moon, but that isn’t likely to happen.

Then of course if everything goes to plan and BB starts nursery at around 4 years old and we make that all important decision to try again, that also comes with its problems.

In 4 years Christine will be around 37 and I will be around 34. Its common knowledge that age can be a factor on how easy it is for the magic to happen and after it taking 6 months with BB, it could take us much longer a second time.

Then there is the age factor with regards to carrying a baby, which if you believe some can also be dangerous.

With all those factors, it’s a hard decision to make but we feel waiting is the right one....FOR US.

So what’s your opinion? Did you have 2 close together? If so, how did it work for you? If not, why not.

As always I look forward to your opinions, unless it’s on my version of fashion, in which case your comment would be wasted...:)

Thanks for reading

F-T-D